So a friend of mine judged me as a player to all guys, and i never took any of my relationships seriously like he did. But honestly? There’s always two side of a story right? When he said he loved me, i knew if i hurt him, our friendship will end immediately. But well i guess he never knew what i meant by absolutely denied him, i want us to stay like we used to. Before you fell in love with me, i feel terrible that i hurt you, but does it ever occurs to you that someone before you left a huge scar that made me believe that love is just another bullshit?  Do you think i never give love a chance to prove that it’s not just another lie? Believe me i try, if i said i love you too back then you would be happy. BUT I’M ONLY LYING TO MYSELF AND TO YOU. I do love you but in a whole different way, I’m a MESS, I’m NOT THE PERFECT MATCH for you. It’s true that i can’t replay what i did to you, but long before you told me those words, He, Who used to be with me, LEFT me without saying goodbye. and HE HURT ME BIG TIME, more than the way i hurt you. Even now THE PAIN AND THE SCAR that he left is still with me AND I CARRY IT around every damn day.

So, all i need is for you to move on.

For your own good.

Love someone truly, and as deep as the way you loved me.

And please let me go.

Okay so I was chatting with my (err how am I gonna say it..) Well let’s just say my uncle, he’s in houston, tx right now.
My god! We had a long chat, he is kinda my redemption from facts lately.
And he was completely okay although he’s on vac with his girlfriend.
And we were talking about the whole country thing and stuff and I said to him “every single damn thing in here is influenced by politics.” And suddenly he asked me about marriage. So I told him,
“Married it’s not the only way to express love, without it you still can express it! Well it’s a way to legalize a relationship that someone built, being married is easy! As easy as you flip your hands, but keeping it strong is another story, it’s a fight, it’s a war, it’s a battlefield.” And he suddenly replied
“For the first time in my life, I am starting to see you as a mature person instead of a young girl who is struggling to pursue her dream.”
I mean I’m happy that people start to see me as an adult instead just a kid, and I’m gonna prove them wrong for judging me as a kid.